Today is significant for a few reasons…

Today I finished my last exam and therefore my second year at University and…it’s bittersweet. Of course, I am glad I do not have any more exams to revise for as in fact I was feeling drained and did not know how much longer I could last. Having said this, next year I will be going abroad to study for a year in a country I have never been to, whose language is not my mother tongue leaving most of my friends behind who will be graduating next year. This means that I will not be seeing most of them upon my return as they will have either moved back to their home countries or left the city I am currently into work elsewhere. Thus, today, reality struck. We’re all growing up, and time waits for nobody. I started my degree thinking University would be a long four years – I’m learning that years, months, minutes and seconds pass so fast we often do not realise. I want to take the opportunity then to reflect on the things I have achieved both academically and personally (though I will not mention them in this post, I simply want to internalise them). In comparison to my first yet, I have done a lot less and that’s simply because I want to focus on my studies.

What must be said about University is that you really cannot have it all – the social life, the grades, and sleep. You must choose two out of three if that. In fact, two might be stretching it because I felt in the last couple of weeks I’ve been lacking a full night’s rest. In principle, however, I’ve chosen the latter two but this sometimes makes me ponder whether I am missing out on the University experience; the sorts of things I will look back on, the memories, the laughs, the crying (happy tears, I mean) and the embarrassing moments and not forgetting the people I spent these moments with.

In reality, I do not feel I am able to state I have had such moments yet, nor can I definitively state the people I am likely to stay in contact with, bar a few of my friends. Undoubtedly, my experience at University is going to be different to the next person but it’s important I state this. Hear me out, despite the long held and often repeated idea that University is THE BE ALL AND END ALL, the place where you meet your friends for life, potentially your soul mate, this is sadly not always the reality. Undeniably, I have met some amazing people who I hope to stay in contact with in the future however these people are by no means in the two digit figure and they are also likely to be under 5 in number.

I appreciate this probably sounds a little unfortunate or sad, but I’m not sad at all, in fact, it’s rather therapeutic to realise this while I am still at University so it helps me to build better bonds with those i really care about. It may even incentivize me to make more of an effort!

Moving from the topic of University life altogether now, today is also signficant because wordpress reminded me that it was my three year anniversary today. Three years today, inspired by Maya Angelou’s life and literature, i started this blog. I do not regret to this day starting this blog. It has helped me to document my thoughts (you could say streams of consciousness – a bit like this post ay!), my creativity and my weirdness. However, what i do regret is my failure at keeping at it and posting much more frequently, than i do. I honestly do not have an excuse for it – this makes me sad. I’ve always been a writer. Always enjoyed putting pen to paper to write down my internal thoughts and thanks to a teacher that recommended blogging, this became the perfect platform, however i feel i am not using this platform to my advantage.

I am hoping to turn this around – I am focusing on me this summer and working both on reading and writing as often as I can, documenting the things that happen and the things that don’t. Here’s to creativity and inspiration .

When people ask me my hobbies i freak out… (le freak c’est chic)

The other day i was asked by someone ,who shall not be named, what my hobbies were.

I instantly freaked out because this question was essentially asking me what i get up to in my free time when i’m not studying. I also felt like i had to respond in a way that would be relateable to the other person in order to keep the conversation flowing. Now, i don’t have very many interesting hobbies so i instantly panic when i’m asked because usually the response is more grandiose than mine. Any hobbies i do have are usually done by myself and so the individual may have got the impression that i’m a recluse who only hangs around with themselves or maybe that i was arrogant and didn’t think other people were worthy in hanging around with me.

In reality my hobbies are boring and i only do them with me because that is all i require – myself. Blogging for instance only requires me (as well as my hands and mind of course) but essentially it requires a skill of solidarity. I don’t need to ask anyone what to blog about because the ideas will come to me when they do so i don’t try to force them, i allow them to make their way into my mind. I also enjoy knitting which may involve more than one person if you are in a knitting club and meet up for a coffee and casual knitting. For me, all that’s required is yarn and a pair of knitting needles. There is NO NEED for small talk. In fact i’ll avoid it at all costs. Lastly, i relish in good books and reading them of course. I was part of a reading group but i no longer am and i think that’s OK because the group gave me the tools that i needed to pick books i would enjoy. They’ve now (as i see it) taken the training wheels off and have left me to decide for myself what i choose to peruse.

I never like telling people about my hobbies because i’m not adventurous even though i wish i was, i don’t do any exciting sports. I love my hobbies, particularly participating in them but i don’t think i personally sell them to others very well.